This previous weekend, I went on a getaway with a group of 260+ people to Eersterivier, in the Western Cape. There were approximately 180 adults, 20 teenagers, 40 children, and 20 toddlers in total. We were all divided into three groups: those that stayed in houses, those that camped, and then the teenagers were placed in the bunkers in dorm rooms.
My mom and I were placed in a house with two families that had three kids under the age of 5. To say it was a chaotic weekend is an understatement.
Children ran around, parents ran after their children, noise and laughter abounded, and there was barely a moment of silence. I took notice especially of the parents since they are my age. I’m not married with children – not yet. It’s an awkward place to be, for I can’t really identify with the teenagers, but neither can I identify with the parents. I always try to converse with the moms, but we barely get to have a decent conversation. In between all the kids interrupting, asking for a sandwich, etc., it’s difficult to have deep, meaningful conversations. The moms are constantly moving around, doing something with their kids, for their kids, or even breaking up a fight between two of the siblings. I also noticed how the parents barely had time for worship, to listen to a speech from beginning to end, or even to sit and eat at a table as normal people do.
There was a rare moment of peace and quiet on the second day of the weekend getaway. I sat with a few moms who were taking a ‘break’. And by break I mean that they were still keeping a watchful eye on their children, who were now gathered around an oak tree, learning how to tie a rope from a basic survival trainer. It was a hot, humid morning, and the moms were grateful to have a moment of rest.
‘How do you do it?’ I asked one of the moms sitting next to me. ‘I’ve been watching you this whole weekend, and it’s crazy how busy you are.’
The mom paused for a moment, pondering the question. ‘God gives you the grace to do it. For every season you’re in, there’s a certain kind of grace that comes with it.’
Taken aback by her question, I realized that she had found the secret key to motherhood. Usually, when I ask moms these questions, they respond with the usual ‘Oh, you just take it day by day’ or an ‘It’s pretty rough, but you rough it out.’
There’s also a beautiful Scripture verse in 2 Corinthians that states the following: ‘God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed…’
I was still thinking about what the mom had said when I had a second meaningful conversation with another mom. She knew me from my beauty pageantry days and asked me if I would do it all over again.
‘No, never again,’ I shook my head. ‘I’m so glad those days are behind me.’
Afterward, I thought about what I had said. There had been some challenges during those years, but I have wonderful memories of that season. I couldn’t quite place my finger on why I had said I never want to do those things again until I thought about the first conversation I had had earlier. And then I realized that it had all to do with grace. In my early twenties, I had the grace to do all those things. But that grace lifted a long time ago, and that season is past and done with. It’s done and dusted, over and out. I’ve long since moved on.
The season that I’m in currently, is not a season of being married or a mom. That’s why, when I look at all those moms, I think, ‘I can’t do it…’ It’s simply because it’s not my season yet. One day I will be a mom, and I will be married, and then I will have the sufficient grace that I will need for that season.
But for now, I’m single. What a privilege that is, for not many get the chance to fully embrace their short season of singleness, and to do everything they’ve always wanted to do. I get to embrace my season – and the grace that goes with it – with all I’ve got.
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My prophetic word for this year is to go DEEPER. I saw a picture of a whale, and how they’re not scared to go deeper. They carry a heaviness, a weight, and they can go for long periods underwater without coming up for air. I will go DEEPER with revelations this year, with my writing, and with relationships.
Last year, a prophet came to GLA and prophesied that I’m like a lighthouse. He said that I will have a 360 view and that there was power in my testimony.
The lighthouse was confirmed after we moved into our new house shortly after. Our house is on a hill, and it’s on an island (you have to cross a bridge to get to our house). My office is on the top floor, and there’s a gorgeous 360 view of all the other houses and canals. The lighthouse is isolated but in a good way. The apostle John also wrote Revelation on Patmos island. Likewise, I will write my memoir, and go deeper like the whale, this year on my own island.
This is my season of focusing on myself, of writing, of swimming in the canal, and of healing.
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‘Climb a high mountain, Zion. You’re the preacher of good news. Raise your voice. Make it good and loud, Jerusalem. You’re the preacher of good news. Speak loud and clear. Don’t be timid! Tell the cities of Judah, “Look! Your God!” Look at him! GOD, the Master, comes in power, ready to go into action. He is going to pay back his enemies and reward those who have loved him. Like a shepherd, he will care for his flock, gathering the lambs in his arms, Hugging them as he carries them, leading the nursing ewes to good pasture.’
Isaiah 40:9-11
